The Practical Magic of Sisterhood

Remember . . . that one time I watched Practical Magic for the first time?

I don’t know how it happened, but Practical Magic somehow slipped through my viewing timeline. I realized the other day that I never watched it. I know. I’m as surprised as you are. I truly believe that everything finds you at the time that you are meant to find it and this weekend was the weekend I was supposed to watch it. See, my sister got married this past weekend and watching this movie alongside the experience of her wedding was nothing short of magic.

In case there are some of you out there that were like me and never watched it, I promise not to spoil major plot points of the movie, but I will be talking about specific moments here and there. And for those of you how might not know what I’m talking about, here’s the trailer:

(The trailer is a vibe.)

What I wouldn’t give to be raised by Stockard Channing and Diane Wiest in a quaint little town by the sea.

Before I get into it, I do want to take a moment and recognize the cast of this movie. Stockard Channing (I still want to be her when I grow up), Diane Wiest (legend), Sandra Bullock (in her running down the street after men in rom com’s era), Nicole Kidman (we come to this place), Aidan Quinn (swoon), Evan Rachel Wood (so young!), Goran Visnjic (Luca from ER), and a Mark Feuerstein (the guy from the things!). I mean, talk about a line up.

For a movie that came out in 1998 it was something to have so many women on the screen for so long. I know it doesn’t pass the Bechtel Test because most of the time the characters are talking about a man, but given the time period it was something. Remember 1998 was the time of Lilith Fair and the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. Women were having a moment while Bill Clinton was being impeached and Monica Lewinski was being bullied by America.

Again, I really don’t know how I missed watching this movie.

I sat down to watch this two days after my sister got married. The wedding was outside, in a park, under a tree. I was feeling all the fall vibes and thinking about our relationship. In the weeks approaching the wedding we joked that this would change EVERYTHING and at the same time had conversations about how silly it was that you need to get permission from the county to marry.

My sister is my person. She didn’t get here until I was 8 years old and I had a hard time being kind of a second mom to her growing up, but during adulthood I’ve really been grateful to have the opportunity to grow with her. She has taught me so much about love and has allowed me to see myself in a way that I never thought possible.

Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters

Practical Magic has three pairs of sisters. There’s Jet and Frances (Diane Wiest and Stockard Channing), Sally and Gillian (Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman), and Kylie and Antonia (Evan Rachel Wood and Alexandra Artrip). With that many, it’s hard to deny that this story is about sisterhood and generational trauma.

The story starts off sharing about how of these sisters are related to a witch and how a curse has followed all of them throughout their lives. Not only is this a scientific fact (google epigenetics), but my sister and have had so many conversations about how circumstances have shaped the lives of the women who came before us on both sides of our family and how we see that reflected in our own lives. We have had to be the ones that got us through, just like the sisters in the movie.

Throughout the movie it is discussed how Sally has abandoned magic and denied that she has powerful gifts because she’s looking to stop the curse from affecting her own children. She even tells her aunts not to teach the kids magic. She thinks that denying her past and who she is will be what saves her. Talk about relatable content.

I worked really hard to get normal. - Sally

Growing up, being “normal” was the only way my mom thought she could keep our family safe¹. We had to dress perfect, act perfect, walk perfect, talk perfect - you get it. I always had this buzzing sound around me because it never felt right. It was like something wasn’t fitting, but my mom knows and I want to stay safe, so I’ll do all the things.

I was on my own in that world for eight years, until my sister was born. While I was so excited, I was very disappointed that I didn’t get an older sister (I know it’s not possible biologically, but there was always adoption. Believe me, I argued this with my mom).

Turns out though, much like Gilly in the movie, my sister is the one that is wise beyond her years. My sister is the one who constantly reminds me that like Sally - I have all this power and I don’t even use it. There have been many times they have sat me down and helped me sort through my feelings, told me how she saw a situation and how it differed than mine and how that was okay. My sister is the first person who saw me for me. My parents were too occupied trying to keep me safe, keep food on the table, and keep their families happy.² My sister just saw me and what a gift it has been to have her tell me what she sees. My sister constantly reminds me through how that all I have to do is be me.

That is the magic of sisterhood.

We see each other and help each other recognize ourselves in spite of all of the chaos that surrounds us, we always able to bring each other down to earth - and that’s what breaks the curse.

Thanks for being my sister. - Marissa

Honorable Mention Moments

These are other things that stood out to me from this movie, they might contain more spoilers than what I have written so far, so proceed with caution.

• All the spells in this movie are like poems, poetry is magic

• Aidan Quinn

• Love feels like putting your arms out and spinning around in circles. (Does it? Or is that a trauma bond?)

• My mom’s birthday was cited in this movie. Not her actual date of birth, but the day - so I’m taking that as a sign that I was meant to watch this movie.

• Phone tree coven - women will always find away to get a job done

• The spells also got me thinking about how much magic can happen when you use what’s around you. Each time they went to make a spell, they used what was in the house.

• Maybe I want to open an apothecary by the sea.

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1. We weren’t in like super danger, but being different was scary. Think Addams Family.

2. Not an excuse and also the truth.